Thursday, 2 October 2014

Remembering and Reminiscing | Jessie Elouise Wright

As some of you know me on a more personal level, you may already know that today has been a very hard day for me - along with many others. 

Today marked the 21st Birthday of my old school best friend, Jessie

Jessie was murdered back in 2010.
I'm not going to go into detail, because not only is it a sore subject for me I don't want to continue dragging up the past. This post is a sensitive one for me, but being that my blog is something I am passionate about I believed it was only write to review my recent thoughts and share them with you, after all you are my friends too. 

So, every year is hard. People say it gets easier in time but it doesn't, or has not done so yet. She was just 16 when she died, she hadn't long done exams and battled through series head surgery. She was fun, bubbly a happy go lucky kind of girl! Nothing brought her down, she lived in her own bubble and was always so cheerful! There was never a dull moment when she was around. The type of girl to light up the room. We got into so much trouble as kids. I have so many good memories with her, so many memories I dare not share with anyone in fear of not only my own embarrassment. Life was just right. 

As a human being I don't ask for much, I just want to be happy, healthy and have good family and friends around me. Everything else is just a bonus I guess. 

I've experienced my fair share of deaths throughout my family, but this has by far affected me the most. I guess the fact she was so young and had the rest of her life to live played a big factor in this. 

I can not help but constantly wonder why. 
I try not to, I try my hardest. I just wish she was here, I mean every year she would celebrate her birthday (anyones to be honest, no excuses she'd be the first organising a night on the razzle thats for sure) we would all get together, stand outside the shop for a few hours trying our luck at getting someone to buy us a cheap bottle of fizz, you know the stuff that tasted like utter crap but we felt cool at the time, failing that there was a few times she would 'borrow' a bottle from her house. 

We used to sit up the bunny bank or at the broadway and people watch, laughing as people passed up by, making up stories to go along with the random people. We would just have a proper laugh, laughing so much that our stomachs hurt. 

I suppose its hard also, the fact that when I look around all of my friends, half have begun settling down, having kids, getting engaged, purchasing mortgages and the other half are studying hard, working hard and partying hard! She should be doing that also, she should be here today still. 

I know too well that life isnt easy. 
Life isnt fair either. 

I worked a late shift today and I'm back at work tomorrow at 6am so I couldn't do anything exciting this evening, but I displayed Jessie's notice board, I brought her some flowers and light a few candles in her memory (I do this every year) and instead of the yearly struggle of lighting lanterns (which always ends up in a burnt hand and possibly the neighbor's tree!!) I purchased an extra large bottle of Vodka (her favourite) to celebrate with this weekend. 

I just want to take this chance to wish Jessie a Happy 21st Birthday. I hope that wherever you are up there babe, that you are loving life. I hope you've found peace and that you continue to guide and support your family through this awful pain. We love you, We miss you but most importantly we are proud of you. Xxx 

Jessie Eloise Wright 
O1.1O.1993 - O4.O3.2O1O
Rave In Paradise.  

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1 comment:

  1. Oh I'm so sorry you've gone through such a horrible time with losing your friend. Her grave looks so beautiful and I'm sure she's smiling down at you xxx


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