Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Talk Tuesday | Jenna's Story #BISDTT



Hello, Hi, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Ola, Namaste ....
Welcome back to Talk Tuesday!


This week I have another guest post. This time from the beautiful Jenna!  
I am so honored and grateful that Jenna has been brave enough to share her story with us all today, but just like me she is so devoted to beating the stigma against mental health. I will warn you that this story may trigger many emotions - as it did for me - But grab your cup of tea, sit back and lets hand it over to Jenna herself ..... 




Who are you?  Where are you from? What do you do for a living? 
Tell my readers a little about yourself.
I’m Jenna, I live in Sheffield, South Yorkshire with my husband and our two cats (Izzy & Shelley). I work for a well known Gambling company doing customer service for their online accounts. I’m 33 years old, I’m an Instagram addict in the making, feel free to add me  HERE. I love to crochet, read and soak in a long hot bubble bath. 




How has Mental Health affected you? 
I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2006, panic disorder with agoraphobia in 2008 and borderline personality disorder in 2017. Earlier this year I completely broke. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Living hurt too much. At times I feel afraid of everything, I feel every emotion at 1000% which can be overwhelming and frightening. I can’t process emotions properly and am convinced that everyone I love will abandon me. I spend most of my time feeling like my head is on fire.  I’ve been scaled from jobs for being “mental” and have had people tell me there is nothing wrong with me. That I’m an attention seeker and one person actually said to me that there is. Thing wrong with me, I just read about a condition and decided I had it.  I’ve had people tell me I use my mental health to make excuses and have been called lazy more times than I can remember. Stigma is horrendous and I’ve experienced a lot of it.  When I was diagnosed with BPD someone broke off our friendship telling me to stop banging on about my mental health as it brings people down.  Sadly my experiences with the NHS haven’t been much better. It took me 11 years to be diagnosed as BPD even though I knew there was something really not right with me and how much I struggled. 

Why did you want to take part in #TalkTuesday? 
To help end stigma. Stigma ruins lives, I’ve lost jobs and friends because of it. I am feeling stronger than I have in a long time and if I can challenge some misconceptions I am proud to do so. I also want to bring BPD into the public domain. I’ve heard and read horrendous things about people with BPD that just aren’t true! 



Why do you think it is so important for us to talk about Mental Health? 
Similar to what I said above stigma needs breaking down and we can only do that by talking about it. 



How did you overcome this? 
Did you receive any treatment? 
How easy was it to gain access to the help you needed? 
I’m sad to say I’ve had a nightmare getting any kind of help at all. In the end I had to go to the doctor with a written list of points I wanted to make to make myself heard. I have had two appointments with a psychiatrist and was then discharged!! When I phoned them to challenge this they said that I am not in danger of suicide as I have my husband and he can keep an eye on me. I’ve always said I don’t want to die, I want to live. There is so much I want to do and see but this apparently means the NHS can’t help me.  
I was referred to IAPT who said they don’t deal with BPD so have refused to see me. I have had 8 hours of group therapy which introduced DBT and provided me with a to read list. That is it. My GP says there is nothing more they can offer.  
NHS services are beyond strained and the government continues to cut funding. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve been stuck on citalopram for years now, it helps with the panic attacks but very little else. 
 Thank goodness for Mental Health charities or we would have next to nothing. 



If you could give one piece of advice to someone who could be reading this suffering in silence what would it be?

Reach out. Please. You are not alone I promise.  






You can find Jenna on Instagram HERE






Want to talk? 
Please feel free to email me, or find me on social media (all linked on my blog) and I will be more than happy to speak to you. Use the Hashtag #BISDTT to get the conversation started online!

Useful Information and Links. 


Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Talk Tuesday | Kayleigh's Story #BISDTT



Hello, Hi, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Ola, Namaste ....

Welcome back to Talk Tuesday!


This week I have a outstanding guest post from the beautiful Kayleigh!  
I am so honored and grateful that Kayleigh has been brave enough to share her story with us all today, but just like me she is so devoted to beating the stigma against mental health. I will warn you that this story may trigger many emotions - as it did for me - But grab your cup of tea, sit back and lets hand it over to Kayleigh herself ..... 




Who are you?  Where are you from? What do you do for a living? 
Tell my readers a little about yourself.
I'm Kayleigh, I'm 22, a Mummy of one daughter named Amelia-Mae. With partner Nathan of 7 years. We met in 2010 and been together since. We live in a small town in Derbyshire. I work as a full-time support worker for learning disabilities. Supporting 13 residents with daily challenges. I have been in the care sector for 5 years  and I still love it! 



How has Mental Health affected you? 
I have suffered with depression for the past 3 years, I believe it started when I become a mummy. Which is the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost my mum at 8 years old to depression. so I didn't have a mum to help me or to ask advice from at the scariest time in my life. Thankfully I do have 2 older sisters I am close too that supported me. I was so happy and over the moon then I returned to work. Back then I worked in a dementia unit 12 hour shifts it really broke me having to be away from my little girl 12 hours a day. It become mentality and physically exhausting. I noticed a change in myself so I went to see a doctor I was prescribed some antidepressants and told to make changes to my life to make me happy. So in September 2016 I left my job. Started my new job and moved into our first home together (all within a week) I was so so happy! So I stopped taking my antidepressants WITHOUT consulting my doctor. Idiot! Then again I fell back into the darkness but this time it was worse I felt alone 24/7. I felt my partner and daughter hated me, they are so close shes such a daddy's girl. I started to look worse and people began to notice and ask questions I really struggled to hide it. All I wanted to do was hide in bed forever! Thankfully with my Auntie's help she helped me to begin my recovery walk. My auntie helped me to go see my doctor where I cried my heart out and was supported and given help. I was prescribed Sertraline 50mg a day but now I'm on 100mg a day as I needed the extra help. I was given Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and given home help websites such as MOODJUICE. I attended 3 sessions of CBT to which I was discharged and given more home help and advice that will live with me forever. To where I am now 7 months later. 



Why did you want to take part in #TalkTuesday? 
To share awareness about mental health and for at least one person to go to someone they love and trust or just to see a doctor to get some help. Nobody needs to suffer alone.



Why do you think it is so important for us to talk about Mental Health? 
My mum committed suicide back in 2003 it breaks my heart to think she felt so alone. Even with a husband, 3 daughters and an entire family that absolutely adored her! We need to break the silence so people feel okay to not be okay! And get help and not feel ashamed for doing so.. everyone needs some help at some points in there life and you're definitely not alone, so many people feel the exact same that you do.



How did you overcome this? 
Did you receive any treatment? 
How easy was it to gain access to the help you needed? 
Thankfully I have such a supportive family so I got help from them keeping me going. The NHS helped me with medication and home help while I was put on a waiting list for CBT for a month. But I felt so much better after speaking to my therapist and being given some advice on everything I was worrying about gave me so much peace of mind. And regaining the relationship with my partner and daughter was the best part. We made so many lovely new memories and enjoyed each other company. Even had 2 date nights a week we mainly do this at home but sometimes will go local pub for a meal while kiddy stays with a family member a few hours. We forgot how much we used to laugh together and how much we actually had in common. And I now always spend as much time with my daughter as possible along with working 35 hours a week. So we have a mummy and daughter day once a week, includes arts and crafts, films etc, we enjoy them so much and love our time together and we too are as close as ever. I still do suffer with depression but I no longer let it take over me and ruin my day! We are strong and can do this... don't ruin a good day thinking about a bad yesterday. 



If you could give one piece of advice to someone who could be reading this suffering in silence what would it be? 
Don't feel you're alone! No one is alone. Speak to a friend or family member you can trust or a complete stranger such as MIND.ORG Help line or speaking to your GP. Or you can make a self referral at TRENTPTS and be given help that way I cant recommended Trent PTS enough they were so helpful and such a friendly service. Just please remember it's Okay to not be okay
 

Xx Much Love Kayleigh xX 

You can find Kayleigh on Instagram HERE








Want to talk? 
Please feel free to email me, or find me on social media (all linked on my blog) and I will be more than happy to speak to you. Use the Hashtag #BISDTT to get the conversation started online!

Useful Information and Links. 




Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Talk Tuesday | How I cope with my Anxiety #BISDTT




Hello, Hi, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Ola, Namaste ....


welcome back to Talk Tuesday. 



This week I thought I would share with you how I like to deal/cope with my Anxiety.
Now, I have suffered for a long time. I have medication which takes the edge off day to day but I still suffer several times a week, with Anxiety attacks, panic attacks and episodes.
It's not easy, it never will be and different things work for different people BUT you need to almost try before you buy. Test run the lot.
You need to find what works for you, and use those techniques to your advantage. 




A Well Balanced Diet. 
As cliche as it sounds, you are what you eat. I found this out during this past year.
I always find that when I eat crap – I feel crap. It really is that simple.
Now, I am not saying go out and buy everything local and organic. What I am saying is, take care of your body. Do not fuel it with rubbish.
I love a cream cake, chocolate bar and a good bottle of wine or two. Just learn your limits. Even if it means adding a small portion of extra goodness here and there.
I highly recommend drinking tones of water too! Water flushes all the toxins out of your body. Honestly, it helps so much!


Breathe.
Again, I find this so cliché but it helps me. I can feel an attack coming, I do not get too much of a warning, but I feel my body get tense, I feel my temperature rise and my heart starts beating faster. 
I find myself gasping for air and I have to sit down, wherever I am and just breathe. 
I find that concentrating on something first hand helps, but concentrating on my breathing in turn calms me down. 
I like to take long, deep breaths and close my eyes. Sometimes, when I feel an attack oncoming or I feel a little anxious just doing this prevents the attack even happening.


Sleep.
Sleep is so important, and when I lack sleep I feel awful. Not only being I am tired and ratty but because I cannot function properly, I almost feel like my anxiety has advantages over my body. When I lack sleep and feel as though I am not in control of my body my anxiety tends to heighten and strike at the strangest of times. So I could not recommend sleep enough – although if you are like me … I struggle to fall asleep. 
Once I fall asleep, there are no natural disasters that can shake me, but falling asleep is a mission in itself. 
I find watching/listening to YouTube videos really help me. I love listening to guided meditations on my iPad. They often concentrate on your breathing and tensing your body, then releasing the tenseness and relaxing your mind, body and soul.  


Utilize 'Me' Time.
I work nights and in the care sector, I have a really busy schedule with work and trying to catch up with sleep as well as my blog and business ventures I have taken up this year, so I often found myself a little ‘lost’ I cannot recommend ‘Me’ time enough. Whether it’s as simple as a hour of the evening, to have a hot bubble bath and relax, reading a book or just sitting in my room alone in silence. 
You really need to look after yourself. Why not try it? If you are super busy, set yourself a target. 
Even if you start small. I also love to have time alone to just listen to music. Music helps me and dealing with my anxiety SO much its ridiculous. There is no certain genre or artist. I just love music, music that I can relate too, I love to dance (that does not mean that I can) and I love to sing. Therefore, 
I surround myself by music. I ensure I listen to at least an hour of music a day.

Positive Mindset.
I think I find this the hardest. This is where I struggle the most, but anxiety is and always will be a constant battle. You need to be positive – as hard as it sounds and as hard as it is. 
I am an active thinker. Everything happens for a reason, and I need to know that reason, I need to understand that reason and if I do not, there is a reason, so I am constantly thinking, overthinking and rethinking – it is a killer. 
Sometimes, just sometimes I need to almost slap myself in the face. I need to remind myself that the only way I will beat this, and the moods is to be positive. 
The world is not out to get you. It does not matter if someone doesn’t like you! It does not matter if friends cancel a date, just because someone did not text you first – it does not mean they hate you. I find quotes help loads. I spend hours on Pinterest looking up positive quotes and I love following positive people. Whether that is in life, by surrounding myself with positive people or on my social media – following positive celebrities or people.


Talk, Talk and Talk some more.
Without doubt my biggest and best coping mode. As soon as I feel crap, I talk. Whether it’s to a friend, my mum or even writing a blog post. I started this blog three years ago, and throughout my blogging journey its taken me a while to find where I would fit in. I love makeup, I am a trained beauty therapist,
 I love fashion and I am an advocate for the plus sized woman and proving that just because you are plus size it does not mean you cannot succeed or be happy. I love travelling and food. I realized this year that it does not matter if I do not fit in. this is my blog and what I want to write is up to me, if people read it – great! If not, who actually cares?

I enjoy doing this and it makes me happy. That is why I feel so passionate about writing and expressing my feelings and thoughts when it comes to mental health. Whether someone reads this and finds it helps or not. It helps me. If I feel like I cannot talk to someone, or its too late at night and I need an outlet there my blog is where I turn. It does not mean I have to publish the post, but being about to talk (type technically and to myself) it helps. 
Find your outlet, 
talk, scream if you need too just do not keep it inside because it will kill you.


Accept the Inevitable.
I find it hard to cope sometimes, as mentioned previously I am such a active thinker, and this is such a struggle for me. Accepting the inevitable has helped me though. Sometimes you cannot control what happens around you.
 Sometimes people are nasty and vile. Sometimes people die (morbid I know, but the truth) sometimes people move on and change. It is all part of life and holding on will not help your anxiety. 
Accept the inevitable and move the fuck on. If you cannot change it, do not worry. I love the saying “If it's not going to matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it”



Walk, Run, Jog. 
Whenever I feel anxious, I find the outside helps. Being cooped up inside your house never helps and never makes you feel better, although it is my ‘safe place’ getting outside and experiencing the nature will help you.
 The fresh air, the freedom. Whether you go for a drive, walk, run, jog, skip or bloody jump! Get outside. 
Even your backyard. Exercise helps loads too, besides the happy endorphin's that it creates; it makes you focus on something other than all the shit anxiety brings.



Face your fears. 
I have many, spiders, snakes, clowns, death, loneliness, heights I could go on …. Now do not panic. I am not about to say that the only way to beat anxiety is to start a battle against the world’s largest snakes, spiders and clowns whilst at 15000ft alone *hahaha* but small steps will help. 
If you wake up one day and you are supposed to be meeting friends, and your anxiety is starting to play havoc then you take control! This is your life, not your anxieties! Find your steps which help you control and keep your anxiety at bay and use these to your advantage.
I promise you, you’ll feel so much better for trying than for giving in. There has been many of occasions that I have not gone to social events and met up with friends because of my anxiety and depression. I can tell you that the alternative of staying in – does not help.


Learn your triggers.
You need to be able to identify your triggers to be able to cope. You also need to be able to identify them to be able to battle them. Believe it or not, 
one of my biggest triggers surrounds people, and crowds. Yes – I avoid them because I know that is the easiest thing to do but it does not stop me from going out.
 I learn where to go, and where not to go, certain times will be busier.
 I also find going out with people who understand my anxiety helps.

I hope that this helps someone. 
If you ever need to talk, then please message me. 
I am always here. 
You are NEVER alone! 








Want to talk? 
Please feel free to email me, or find me on social media (all linked on my blog) and I will be more than happy to speak to you. Use the Hashtag #BISDTT to get the conversation started online!

Useful Information and Links. 













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