Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Talk Tuesday | How I cope with my Anxiety #BISDTT

Hello, Hi, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Ola, Namaste ....

welcome back to Talk Tuesday. 

This week I thought I would share with you how I like to deal/cope with my Anxiety.
Now, I have suffered for a long time. I have medication which takes the edge off day to day but I still suffer several times a week, with Anxiety attacks, panic attacks and episodes.
It's not easy, it never will be and different things work for different people BUT you need to almost try before you buy. Test run the lot.
You need to find what works for you, and use those techniques to your advantage. 

A Well Balanced Diet. 
As cliche as it sounds, you are what you eat. I found this out during this past year.
I always find that when I eat crap – I feel crap. It really is that simple.
Now, I am not saying go out and buy everything local and organic. What I am saying is, take care of your body. Do not fuel it with rubbish.
I love a cream cake, chocolate bar and a good bottle of wine or two. Just learn your limits. Even if it means adding a small portion of extra goodness here and there.
I highly recommend drinking tones of water too! Water flushes all the toxins out of your body. Honestly, it helps so much!

Again, I find this so cliché but it helps me. I can feel an attack coming, I do not get too much of a warning, but I feel my body get tense, I feel my temperature rise and my heart starts beating faster. 
I find myself gasping for air and I have to sit down, wherever I am and just breathe. 
I find that concentrating on something first hand helps, but concentrating on my breathing in turn calms me down. 
I like to take long, deep breaths and close my eyes. Sometimes, when I feel an attack oncoming or I feel a little anxious just doing this prevents the attack even happening.

Sleep is so important, and when I lack sleep I feel awful. Not only being I am tired and ratty but because I cannot function properly, I almost feel like my anxiety has advantages over my body. When I lack sleep and feel as though I am not in control of my body my anxiety tends to heighten and strike at the strangest of times. So I could not recommend sleep enough – although if you are like me … I struggle to fall asleep. 
Once I fall asleep, there are no natural disasters that can shake me, but falling asleep is a mission in itself. 
I find watching/listening to YouTube videos really help me. I love listening to guided meditations on my iPad. They often concentrate on your breathing and tensing your body, then releasing the tenseness and relaxing your mind, body and soul.  

Utilize 'Me' Time.
I work nights and in the care sector, I have a really busy schedule with work and trying to catch up with sleep as well as my blog and business ventures I have taken up this year, so I often found myself a little ‘lost’ I cannot recommend ‘Me’ time enough. Whether it’s as simple as a hour of the evening, to have a hot bubble bath and relax, reading a book or just sitting in my room alone in silence. 
You really need to look after yourself. Why not try it? If you are super busy, set yourself a target. 
Even if you start small. I also love to have time alone to just listen to music. Music helps me and dealing with my anxiety SO much its ridiculous. There is no certain genre or artist. I just love music, music that I can relate too, I love to dance (that does not mean that I can) and I love to sing. Therefore, 
I surround myself by music. I ensure I listen to at least an hour of music a day.

Positive Mindset.
I think I find this the hardest. This is where I struggle the most, but anxiety is and always will be a constant battle. You need to be positive – as hard as it sounds and as hard as it is. 
I am an active thinker. Everything happens for a reason, and I need to know that reason, I need to understand that reason and if I do not, there is a reason, so I am constantly thinking, overthinking and rethinking – it is a killer. 
Sometimes, just sometimes I need to almost slap myself in the face. I need to remind myself that the only way I will beat this, and the moods is to be positive. 
The world is not out to get you. It does not matter if someone doesn’t like you! It does not matter if friends cancel a date, just because someone did not text you first – it does not mean they hate you. I find quotes help loads. I spend hours on Pinterest looking up positive quotes and I love following positive people. Whether that is in life, by surrounding myself with positive people or on my social media – following positive celebrities or people.

Talk, Talk and Talk some more.
Without doubt my biggest and best coping mode. As soon as I feel crap, I talk. Whether it’s to a friend, my mum or even writing a blog post. I started this blog three years ago, and throughout my blogging journey its taken me a while to find where I would fit in. I love makeup, I am a trained beauty therapist,
 I love fashion and I am an advocate for the plus sized woman and proving that just because you are plus size it does not mean you cannot succeed or be happy. I love travelling and food. I realized this year that it does not matter if I do not fit in. this is my blog and what I want to write is up to me, if people read it – great! If not, who actually cares?

I enjoy doing this and it makes me happy. That is why I feel so passionate about writing and expressing my feelings and thoughts when it comes to mental health. Whether someone reads this and finds it helps or not. It helps me. If I feel like I cannot talk to someone, or its too late at night and I need an outlet there my blog is where I turn. It does not mean I have to publish the post, but being about to talk (type technically and to myself) it helps. 
Find your outlet, 
talk, scream if you need too just do not keep it inside because it will kill you.

Accept the Inevitable.
I find it hard to cope sometimes, as mentioned previously I am such a active thinker, and this is such a struggle for me. Accepting the inevitable has helped me though. Sometimes you cannot control what happens around you.
 Sometimes people are nasty and vile. Sometimes people die (morbid I know, but the truth) sometimes people move on and change. It is all part of life and holding on will not help your anxiety. 
Accept the inevitable and move the fuck on. If you cannot change it, do not worry. I love the saying “If it's not going to matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it”

Walk, Run, Jog. 
Whenever I feel anxious, I find the outside helps. Being cooped up inside your house never helps and never makes you feel better, although it is my ‘safe place’ getting outside and experiencing the nature will help you.
 The fresh air, the freedom. Whether you go for a drive, walk, run, jog, skip or bloody jump! Get outside. 
Even your backyard. Exercise helps loads too, besides the happy endorphin's that it creates; it makes you focus on something other than all the shit anxiety brings.

Face your fears. 
I have many, spiders, snakes, clowns, death, loneliness, heights I could go on …. Now do not panic. I am not about to say that the only way to beat anxiety is to start a battle against the world’s largest snakes, spiders and clowns whilst at 15000ft alone *hahaha* but small steps will help. 
If you wake up one day and you are supposed to be meeting friends, and your anxiety is starting to play havoc then you take control! This is your life, not your anxieties! Find your steps which help you control and keep your anxiety at bay and use these to your advantage.
I promise you, you’ll feel so much better for trying than for giving in. There has been many of occasions that I have not gone to social events and met up with friends because of my anxiety and depression. I can tell you that the alternative of staying in – does not help.

Learn your triggers.
You need to be able to identify your triggers to be able to cope. You also need to be able to identify them to be able to battle them. Believe it or not, 
one of my biggest triggers surrounds people, and crowds. Yes – I avoid them because I know that is the easiest thing to do but it does not stop me from going out.
 I learn where to go, and where not to go, certain times will be busier.
 I also find going out with people who understand my anxiety helps.

I hope that this helps someone. 
If you ever need to talk, then please message me. 
I am always here. 
You are NEVER alone! 

Want to talk? 
Please feel free to email me, or find me on social media (all linked on my blog) and I will be more than happy to speak to you. Use the Hashtag #BISDTT to get the conversation started online!

Useful Information and Links. 

Monday, 16 October 2017

Music Monday #06

Hello, Hi, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Ola, Namaste ..... 
Happy Monday!  
I hope you are all having a splendid day.
I have some great additions to my Music Monday Playlist this week! 

Chris and Kem - Little Bit Leave It. 
I'm not even ashamed to say that I am addicted to this song right now. If you follow me on Twitter or know me personally then you will know I was stuck on Love Island this year. Everyone spoke about it previous years and I could not see the fuss, but this year I was sucked in. As funny as this song is, and how it is a play on their entire relationship whilst on the island I think the two of them are genuinely really talented. 

Maroon 5 feat SZA - What Lovers Do
I love this song! It has such a happy go lucky feel to it. It's one of them songs that as soon as it starts playing you instantly feel happier! I am not a huge fan of Maroon 5 but I do think every so often they bring out a really good hit - and this is one of them! 

Macklemore feat Skylar Grey -Glorious 
I love everything about Macklemore. Ever since I saw him perform at Wireless Festival years back. I was hooked. He has so much energy when it comes to performing and teaming up with Skylar Grey was genius! Her voice is so unique. It adds such a perfect twist to the song. I also love the lyrics behind the song. 

CamelPhat feat Elderbrook - Cola 
This song is amazing. Instantly I want to dance as soon as I hear this! The beat behind the song is insane, the drops, everything! I am sat here listening to it whilst writing this and I cannot keep my feet still. It is definitely one of the clubs. I challenge you to listen to it and not want to get up and bust a move! 

J Balvin, Willy William feat Beyonce - Mi Gente 
If you follow Music Monday closely you will notice I featured the original of this song back in week four. Now if you know me personally you will straight away know my love and admiration for the queen herself Beyonce. So the fact she has teamed up with these guys and added her own twist onto this amazing song is incredible but the reasons behind it are even greater, supporting hurricane relief fund - you go Queen Bee!!! I just love this song, its another that makes you want to get up and dance!  

Wretch 32 - His & Hers Perspectives 
I absolutely adore this. Again, I saw Wretch 32 a few years back at a festival and ever since I have been obsessed. He is amazing. His talent is incredible. I adore this song, He has been so creative with it. I love how from start to finish you are inside this story that his telling. You feel all the feels. I also find it so relatable!!  

Crazy Cousinz, Yxng Bane feat Lily Mckenzie - No Way 
This is such a summer song! Another that makes you want to get up and dance, but it reminds me of summer, beer gardens and warm breezes. I am gutted I did not find this song sooner. It's on repeat! I love Crazy Cousinz - I have some fond memories that include some of their songs, including holidays. 

Hardy Caprio, One Acen - Unsigned 
Love, love, love this! I am all about the songs that make you want to dance at the moment, and as soon as this plays my head is bopping along with the beat. The chorus is a simple and quick one and gets your hooked straight away, so it's already one I can sing along with. 

Remember, you can find all of these songs as well as my previous weeks additions on my SPOTIFY playlist which is linked below! 

I hope you all have a lovely week! 
Keep vibing, and remember to share your new music finds below ....

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

Talk Tuesday | Tommy's Story #BISDTT

Hello, Hi, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Ola, Namaste .... 
welcome back to Talk Tuesday. 

This week I am super excited to bring a guest post to you. 
The following post features the most beautiful human being ever, Tommy. I had the pleasure of connecting with Tommy via Instagram recently. I love how open-minded he is and how honest he is when it comes to speaking about mental health. so, without further-a-do sit back, relax and lets talk Tuesday! 

Who are you?  Where are you from? What do you do for a living?
Tell my readers a little about yourself.
 I am Thomas. From Liverpool. I am a florist and love My job. I am a creative person and can't do the same thing all the time. I love new tasks and progressing in life!

How has Mental Health affected you?
 I suffered with severe anxiety a few years ago and I actually didn't know much about anxiety or anything around mental health. But when something triggered my anxiety I felt like someone had opened a doorway in my mind to all these questions that kept getting thrown to the front of my mind constantly. I felt like my mind was always asking me about what might happen or what have you just said...was that OK?.......are they gonna hate me now?.....my friends will not wanna talk to me, to not standing still. Rocking sitting up in bed because my mind wouldn't stop to have a breather. I felt like I had this mad inside my head typing away with these Scenarios that have happened and what might happen.

Why did you want to take part in #TalkTuesday? 
I am taking apart in talk Tuesday as for what I felt and thought wasn't nice and I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone as I thought people will think I'd lost it. 

Why do you think it is so important for us to talk about Mental Health? 
It's important to talk about our mental health as it's all within our mind body and souls. People don't see what's wrong. And that's why some people would say you look fine when inside you feel like for dying. Talking about our thoughts and are feelings is only gonna be good!!! 

How did you overcome this? Did you receive any treatment? How easy was it to gain access to the help you needed? 
After putting up with panic attacks and crying with frustration on a daily basic for about two weeks I finally went the doctors where I was looked at like I had two heads. I broke down in the room and felt like this was my last cry for help. I was wrong. My Doctor sent me on my way with no help. Just told me not to drink alcohol or take any energy drinks.

If you could give one piece of advice to someone who could be reading this suffering in silence what would it be? 

I would say speak to your best friend. Open up. Even go online and look for a mental health blog to talk to a stranger. You are not alone. Thousands of people within the UK suffer with mental health and your not alone. There is always help.

You can connect with Tommy via Instagram HERE
He is always open to speaking about Mental Health and will always offer and shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. He often mentions Mental Health on his stories. 

Want to talk? 
Please feel free to email me, or find me on social media (all linked on my blog) and I will be more than happy to speak to you. Use the Hashtag #BISDTT to get the conversation started online!

Useful Information and Links. 

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